Dementia can bring families to a crossroads, especially when a loved one's condition advances. Dr. Marc Rothman, a geriatrician in New York City, witnesses this firsthand as he visits patients and their caregivers. He describes a common scenario where families, initially managing well, find themselves overwhelmed by the complexities of dementia care.
But here's where it gets challenging: when should families consider transitioning their loved ones to professional care? Dr. Rothman highlights a critical point—incontinence, increased paranoia, aggressive outbursts, and wandering tendencies can be triggers. These behaviors, often misunderstood, are a cry for help, according to Elizabeth Edgerly from the Alzheimer's Association. She explains that people with dementia may 'wander' with a purpose, like seeking a familiar home or a past job, even if it's not logical.
This was terrifyingly real for Valerie Staats, a caregiver to her wife, Shelley Schultz, who has Alzheimer's. After a close call where Schultz went missing, Staats is now at a crossroads. The incident sparked guilt and a reevaluation of their at-home care. The emotional toll and the need for constant vigilance are taking their toll on Staats, who is considering moving Schultz to a memory care unit.
Memory care facilities, like Silverado, aim to improve dementia patients' quality of life. Loren Shook, CEO of Silverado, emphasizes the importance of purpose and engagement. They help patients relearn skills and reduce challenging behaviors by keeping them active and involved. However, the cost of memory care is a significant consideration, starting at $10,000 monthly at Silverado.
For Valerie Staats, the decision is personal. She wants to be a loving spouse, not just a caregiver. As Schultz's condition advances, Staats is contemplating the move to memory care, a place they've visited together and trust. This choice, while difficult, could be a turning point, offering a new lease of life for Schultz and a chance for Staats to regain some normalcy in their relationship.
